I'm growing up. And it's scary.

For the past couple of years, I have been slowly becoming aware of the fact that I am an adult now. You would think that graduating college and moving 1200 miles away from home, family, and friends would allow for this realization... don't assume anything. And when it didn't happen then, surely it would come when the first real job and the "career" lifestyle went into affect... nope not then either. Maybe when the first best friend got married? Nothing... that was all fun stuff for me. Nope, I didn't see it until...

Last weekend, I got a call from my best friend, Joanna telling me that our best friend Caroline, was pregnant. I hit a brick wall. Hard. This news was... not bad news, not good news, not necessarily surprising news. But, it was: shocking news. It took a few minutes for me to process this new information, and when I did the waterworks began. I couldn't stop crying. Every time I thought about it I cried. For about a week and a half this went on. I didn't really know why I was crying. It was some sort of strange feeling I had never felt before. And then I realized... I'm not upset at anyone or becuase of anyone else's actions. I'm upset because things have changed. We are no longer just a group of friends separated by miles and geography. We are now separated by life.

I am not saying this is a bad thing, at all. It is a wonderful thing. It is a blessing that God has given each and every one of us individually. We have all gone our separate ways and created lives for ourselves - and now for some of us, for our families. Now that I am coming to realize and embrace this, it is a comfort. Because now I understand that life isn't separating us at all. Life is just happening to us. And now every time I think about Caroline's soon-to-be family, I smile. And if I do shed a tear it is because I am so overwhelmed with joy for her - and all of my friends for that matter. I am proud of each and every one of them for who they have become and the lives they are making for themselves. I would never ask for anything more.

I hope to one day be that group of girlfriends that goes on vacations together with our husbands and children. We are a family. And now I know that no matter the location, no matter the situation at hand, no matter the struggle, no matter the triumph, no matter anything in this world... time will go on and things will change. But, with change comes growth and for that, I am extremely thankful.